But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
