I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk is a universal language darling
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
