He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
