you turned your livingroom into a bong?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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