I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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