i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
