Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
