I heard we made out
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
