I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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