Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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