pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
