The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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