Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
