so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
