dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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