Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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