i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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