My friends, they love my intelligence
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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