Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
