i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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