his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
