even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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