HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
