If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
