Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
