Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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