DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
