took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
