Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
