Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
