; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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