You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
