i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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