Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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