Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
