3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
