OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im holly from the hills drunk
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
