Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
