that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
