i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
