Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
