check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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