O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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