your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
