I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
