took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
