just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
