He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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