and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Randomize
