All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
