Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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