He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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